The Guardian article ‘Ice bucket challenge: who’s pouring cold water on the idea?’ by Steve Rose, is a piece that should be read by all people, primarily because it brings forward the many problems that arise as a result of this phenomena. I’m pretty sure we are all aware of what happens when one takes part in this viral driven craze. Well if you are not, and have been living in solitary confinement for the past two months, it consists of pouring a bucket of ice cold water over yourself and then nominating others to do the same. The charitable aspect of this aspect is that each participant is supposed to donate $100 to the ALS foundation, although I do not think the trend that has recently swept over the world is as virtuous as it would seem.
When watching the constant bombardment of ice bucket videos, the most important aspect of this is neglected. In many of these videos we see people talking about who nominated them and who they’re nominating, but the the most significant and key aspect is to raise money, yet people choose to withhold whether they have donated or not. Rose tells us that this comes across as more of a, ‘wasteful PR exercises [rather] than charitable gestures.’ This highlights the fact that many people use this challenge as an excuse to show off and not as a sincere act of kindness. I agree with Rose as it is not effective and is a way to portray yourself as genorous this is because the donation is ambiguous. This either means they didn’t donate, or we should infer that a payment was made. This makes the charitable aspect confused and lost especially with a younger generation full of narcissism.
I know from personal experience that many young people do not donate, this is partly to do with their ignorance. However the confusion of how and what you do to donate also helps. I think this could be helped if famous icons had made the process, or the fact that you have to contribute to the ALS foundation a clear requirement for participants. I’m also pretty certain that we all feel a sense of fulfilment when we help out others. The payment in this is ambiguous therefore people can “show” charitable they are and what a great person they are. This really annoys me. Don’t get me wrong I do like the whole concept of doing a task to get people involved and to add some competitiveness to it. Although I think its been hijacked and ran away with as a way for people to impress insignificant others, when in reality they are doing nothing more than pouring a bucket of water over their head. Whilst wasting water that is so heavily desired upon by many people around the world.
Personally the idea of pouring water over ourselves to raise money for charity whilst ignoring the fact there are droughts around the world is wrong. How can we use a resource which is scarce to raise money for one thing whilst neglecting and almost belittling the importance of other conditions. In the article Steve Rose states ‘California has been witnessing one of the worst droughts they have ever had.’ This shows that scarcity is not just a problem in area’s such as East Africa, it is in places which we would not associate with droughts. Does it mean we can neglect other issues as long as its raising money for another? ALS patients are only a small proportion of the world, whilst droughts take place in many countries all over the world every year affecting millions of people. Yet we will waste a resource which is so highly sought after by millions of people.
To me that is unethical, I am not at all condemning the intentions behind it, but maybe a little bit more thought could have been put in to it. There are examples of people who have taken it upon themselves to change a matter which they deem a more fit purpose. Such as the examples that Rose has given us; Charlie Sheen poured a bucket full of money over his head instead of wasting water. Additionally Rose tells us about an alternative called ‘the rice bucket challenge’, which he believes is more sustainable. This consists of giving a bucket of rice to a less fortunate family. Surely this is more ethical than the mass waste of water that has taken place these past couple of months. I personally agree with him as this definetly seems not only more ethical, but extremely efficient.
When all points have been considered I agree with a vast majority of Rose’s argument. The ice bucket challenge is a good attempt at a refurbishment of the way in which we take part in charitable matters. Although there are a few drawbacks to this specific attempt; I would like to see more of these in the future as it looks like we’re going in the right direction. next time I would like to see a heavier emphasis on the younger generations contribution to such efforts.
January 23, 2015 at 9:42 pm
Kasey,
An excellent first draft. You clearly care about this topic and you have demonstrate d a genuine response through the development of your ideas.
Targets:
1) Edit your structure – this starts very well but need tightening – focus on the last three paragraphs.
2) Look at your ending – I can see that you are trying to create humour, but I think you need to be more sophisticated with the way you express this.
3) Each paragraph would benefit from clearly stating which idea you are responding to in the topic sentence.
March 27, 2015 at 3:38 pm
For the most part, you are still writing with sophistication and confidence. I like phrases such as: ‘How can we use a resource which is scarce to raise money for one thing whilst neglecting and almost belittling the importance of other conditions.’ and ‘Well if you are not, and have been living in solitary confinement for the past two months, it consists of pouring a bucket of ice cold water over yourself and then nominating others to do the same.’
Targets:
1) Paragraph length – This is not normally an issue for you, but it is something to edit here. I think that each of your paragraphs could probably be split in half.
2) Sentence structure – you are writing in complex sentences but you are not always punctuating them – where should the commas go? Why?
3) Look at your second paragraph in particular – where have you repeated yourself? How might you be more concise and skilful with the delivery of your analysis?
4) What is the purpose of your final paragraph – read this carefully to yourself and then decide how best to conclude your piece.
April 14, 2015 at 11:11 pm
The second half of your essay scans much more easily but there’s still a little more to do.
Do one final check of your vocabulary – how often have you used the word ‘craze’ for instance? How about ‘argument’?
Have a look at your penultimate paragraph? Does it begin in a way that reflects the rest of your written style?